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Liam Halewood rounds up last week of TV “They’re all there for one thing”

18 Aug Liam Halewood rounds up last week of TV “They’re all there for one thing”

by Liam Halewood \\ Columnist

Hi y’all. Sorry about the American hello, lol. Just practicing my American accent for Panto! A ‘Scouse’ wizard probably wouldn’t sound very fetching, lol.

Well first of all, I have to say a massive thank you to all you lovely folk for the response to my first column. It is much appreciated. So let’s get straight to Body Fixers!

I am never watching this programme again without my waterproof mascara because a couple of the stories were so touching this week. Honestly, I’ve even got panda eyes writing this piece thinking about it. 

So the first case was Sadie and when she first walked in, I thought there didn’t seem to be anything wrong with this girl until she started to tell her story. Who the hell goes into a club and decides to throw acid in someone’s face? Whoever that was, I hope karma gets the horrible human being, (that is if you should even describe them as a human being). However, I am so glad that Dr Esho was on hand to fix it and, by god did he fix it.

I had never heard of the procedure before he used it but, it was something called PRP. It’s a procedure whereby he took some of his patients blood and mixed it with plasma. The mixture is then injected into the damaged areas and it heals it.

And heal it, it did!!! This story made me so happy. To watch as Sadie, ( the patient), get her confidence back and be able to go back into a bar or nightclub again was amazing. Along with Danny Richo’s hairdressing skills and Alex Henry’s makeup skills, Sadie looked party ready to go and face the world again. Absolutely brilliant!

The next client into the Bodyfixers clinic was none other than press fave JSky. This guy is already well known to many of us for his outlandish style and being a creative genius. He knows what sells in the media, but he came to Bodyfixers to tone down his image, just slightly, to find love. I have to say, the outfit he walked into the Bodyfixers clinic in was nothing short of, welllllllll, a drag queen look. He had on a floral jump suit, fabulous eye make up and two, of what can only be described as, Olympic Rings as earrings.

I mean, at first, I was like, “Love. This ain’t Ru Paul’s Drag Race, you know”. 🙈 But he rocked it I suppose. He is JSky after all. 

Anyway. After flirting a lot with the ever so dashing Daniel Granger, they got straight to it. I do mean the makeunder, not the sex. After hair was done, J went over to see Alex. The baby wipes came out, ( J wished Daniel had come out too as they discussed Mr Sky’s little crusharoonie on Daniel). They then scrubbed the lashings of make up off that JSky said he didn’t have on. They re-applied the make up with a more subtle touch. Then it was time for the big reveal and to the best line of the series so far.

“Look at me! I have gone from being Kelly Rowland to Beyoncé”. Have to admit, I spat my drink out all over the place with laughter. But, Mr Sky, you looked incredible. I know he loved the experience as I have a little quote from him. He said “Guys. My experience with the Bodyfixers team is one that I will never forget”. I do hope you find love now JSky. With your new look and I am sure you will. Could I have just seen your earrings coming down my road? Oops! No sorry. It was just a bikes wheels. Lol.

Breaking news! A new hot fixer came into the clinic to sort out a tooth problem. Welcome the hot Italian, Dr Nina. I think I am on the other bus! She is like the JLo of the dental world! In walks Robin. Unfortunately, you could actually fit a pound coin between her teeth. She has never had a boyfriend but, to keep this short and sweet, Nina worked her magic. Teeth were fixed, and with a new colour and hair do, and a fabulous new outfit, she looked fabulous darlings. So no more using her teeth as a money box for her then!!! 

This one will not take long to write about. Oh Niall, Niall, Niall? Why did you do that to your ears in the first place?

Those stretchers that people put in their ears are just, well let’s face it, wrong in every way. I mean, just ask Alex Henrys balls! – which apparently are swimming around in his stomach around about now.

Anyway. So glad Niall came to his senses. He came into the clinic and had his ears sewn up. He now looks all nice and handsome again rather than looking like a bottle opener. Lol.

To the last story of the evening. Get your tissues at the ready. It’s the gorgeous girl that is Parish. What an inspirational woman you are. I am not a woman, (contrary to belief), so I will never know what you went through that day you woke up and all your beautiful hair had fallen out. Your bravery knows no bounds. To come and tell your story and bare all about your alopecia, will give others the confidence to do exactly the same. I was proud to watch you. I am also glad that Daniel got his hands on you and gave you, what I can only describe, as your life back.

That amazing fabulous hair system which now allows you to whip your hair back and fourth on your wedding day. You look beautiful. and I have to say J Sky, Parish really was the Beyoncé on this episode. And what a handsome fiancé you have too, Parish. He showed up to surprise her. 

Now, I said I was going to talk about make or break this week, so here goes. Not one of them should be together. There’s no love or affection there. They’re all there for one thing and that’s to be on the TV. Yes. I am talking about the next series of the Ex on the Beach cast.

Enough said! Let’s move on!!

It’s CBB time and yayeee to Brandi Glanville. You have found your voice at last. After watching Brandi’s career on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, I was thinking OMG! She is going to be one heck of a crank but great to watch. But up until now, she has been disappointing to me. I knew it wouldn’t be long before her true colours started to come out. She has had her first argument with the nations sweetheart, Sandi. It was really about nothing, ( which it usually is), but I promise you, this is just the beginning for Brandi.

I mean anyone that can slap Lisa Vanderpump surely will stop at nothing to create some amazing reality TV moments for us all to watch. I didn’t think I would say this about someone from Girl Aloud, as I love them as a band, but Sarah Harding calling anyone a slut! Lol. Pull the other one girl.

All this drama, calling Fifth Harmony a slutty girl band etc. And you in front of the nation cheating on your fella with a self proclaimed bachelor!
Mmmmmmm. Who’s being the naughty girl here then? Girls Aloud wore similar outfits to Fifth Harmony. Or are you just too drunk at the moment to remember that? Big Brother definitely isn’t the place for a Girls Aloud star who is going through a bad time at the moment. And hitting the bottle way too much in my opinion. 

Well. I hope you enjoyed the read but, one more thing. I am a charity ambassador for The James Bulger Memorial Trust and we have a fundraising event happening here in Blackpool. We’re presenting a live show and it’s headlined by our very own, Lydia Lucy of The Voice fame. So please get your tickets in guys and gals and check the poster out for details. Call the box office to the venue which is Viva, The Vegas Venue in Blackpool and they will sort it all out for you.

P.s I just want to a massive congrats to my best mate Lisa Appleton for her amazing transformation and big reveal in closer magazine. You look incredible I have to say amazing work by Ian Morgan of souls care and asthetics in Cannock xx

I just want to add to my column today my thoughts and condolences go to Bruce’s family at this time. RIP to one of the worlds best and greatest legends Sir Bruce Forsyth xxx

Lots a luvs and hugs all from Liam xx