LIAM HALEWOOD on this week’s TV “Your right up my street!”

15 Sep LIAM HALEWOOD on this week’s TV “Your right up my street!”

by Liam Halewood || Columnist 

Hey you gorgeous lot! How you all feeling? Oh! It’s been a busy week this week on the old singing front!

Not only that, I got my script and have been learning my lines for my Panto gig. But, no fear! Liam is still here for you, writing and sprinkling my fairy dust on all of your fave Reality TV shows.

So here goes.

Well! It’s started! The new series of The Real Housewives of Cheshire. And what a start!

Two new housewives have joined the programme. Firstly we have Rachel Lugo. And I’m not gonna’ lie. She just didn’t impress me at all. And there’s two of her too. Haha. (I mean identical twins really). The only thing I like about her is that she may bring a little drama. However, it’s early days yet so we will wait and see. The other newbie however well impressed me. This girl does not live off her footballer boyfriend. (Which is a first). Nermina Pieters-Mecik? Your right up my street!

Gorgeous, talented and defo the glamour input that the Housewives needed. I mean, even Leanne got a little jealous and told her to go home. (Behind her back of course). Cannot wait to see what this one has to offer to the rest of the series.

The question on everyone’s lips was, have Leanne and Dawn made up? The answer is obviously no. Their fight over, (allegedly), £50,000 that Dawn owes Leanne, is now in the hands of the lawyers. It’s a shame to see two friends crumble over money but, from personal experience, it just happens and you have to get over it. Got to say though, glad Dawn has had her operation, (hysterectomy), and she is recovering well.

Tanya Bardsley is as kooky as ever but, I am so glad to see that with positive thinking, she is doing amazing. My mate, Liz, has a job in Tanya’s shop and it was nice to see her featured too.

Lauren is just Lauren. A larger than life personality who is the worse dressed out of them all and! She just causes trouble with her bad advice. I have to applaud the two posh, and well to do, Housewives Stacey and Seema because, I just love drinking in the bar in Manchester (Menagerie) and they have created an amazing little spot there.

The star of the show will always be Esther to me. When she joined the cast in the last series, I thought, “Who is this buxom blonde? And what an entrance she made! This Housewife delivered the line of the series. “Stacey, Seema! Come on bitches”. I say it, role playing, like I am in the scene all of the time.

Esther has come back with only one fella this time and it looks like the girls are going to finally just embrace who she is and move on.

All in all, even if it was a crap programme I would have watched because I am a sucker for a lash wearing, smokey eyed, reality show with drama, glamour and Prosecco. Tune in Mondays at 10.00pm on ITVBe.

Moving on to XFactor. It’s going to be a small piece this week because I wasn’t a fan of this weekend on the show. The Thorpe Park auditions just didn’t do it for me. And if I am honest, from Ginny Lemon, (who looked like Su Pollard on acid), to the Justin Bieber lookalike twins, the programme was a joke. It should have been aired on the Comedy Central channel. The winner for me this weekend has to be the French dude, Kevin Davey.

His great manly, gritty voice and his unique cool, edgy style defo done it for me! I can see him in my dream. Oooops, I mean in the live shows already. But, he won’t win because Grace, with original song, Roots, is my winner so far. XFactor auditions are on Saturday and Sunday evenings on ITV1 at 8.00pm.

Next!!! Let’s go for a date with a celebrity on E4 at 10.00pm! (Celebs Go Dating of course).

This week saw two new additions, Frankie Cocozza and Sarah Jane Crawford. Sarah certainly stole the show out of the two newbies. Basically, she’s just looking for a sperm donor. I actually didn’t know how gorgeous Sarah was until this programme aired. After everyone fighting for her affections, she settled for Will, who is gorgeous. The date going well and then Sarah mentions she wants kids very soon. Lol! I thought Usain Bolt was fast but, Will was faster in his getaway.

He just couldn’y wait to get out of the place! What a gent though. At least he paid the bill so he is obviously is a catch. He just doesn’t want sprogs to pay for too. Frankie Cocozza obvs is used to just getting what he wants because he does not know how to date. And stop saying the word mate all the time, will you! It is doing my head in “Mate”.

Still for me, Charlotte Dawson is the star. She is witty, flirty, charming and glamorous. I mean, come on! What more would you chuffin’ want in a modern day reality star? I just wish she hadn’t done Celebrity Ghost Hunting Live because it just wasn’t a good show for me. And sorry to say, I only carried on watching because when Ampika popped up, I thought we were back watching the Real Housewives of Cheshire. LOL. Haha.

Last but not least, this weeks Body Fixers.

Ex client, Henry, comes in with his sister to fix her ears up. Henry! I am going to hand it to you! That comparison you made was hilarious! Her earlobes did look like monster munch.

Hahahaha. Dr Esho! You and your team are incredible! What you have done, – fixing them into a quaver according to brother or sister – was nothing short of fabulous! Rebecca, (Henry’s sister), with the help of a new barnet and gorgeous makeup from the Bruce Forsythe of Body Fixers, is now wedding ready.

Next in was RU, and to keep it short and sweet, she looks fresh for the boyfriend she has never met. That hair, Danny Richo, was just fababulous! And April!

There was no chin hair in sight after your waxing job. I know your waxing is pain free as well! All will come to light soon as to why I know that.

The next story made me feel a little upset as Georgia was such a young girl who, at 18, lost half of her hair to alopecia. But, help was at hand by the name of Mr Blue Eyes himself, Daniel Granger. I have to say, looking at that girls eyes during the reveal Daniel, you gave her some confidence back and she shone bright like a little diamond, as Rhianna would say!

Just a quickie on Simon. (Because who wouldn’t like a quickie with him?) After Dr Esho waved his magical hands and a quick session of head business with Daniel and Alex, that big crease was gone! A few pricks of Dr Esho magic potion, (Botox), and Simon looked fit, confident and ready to roll with his new forehead.

Last in was Ife. Basically her problem was her own fault. Losing her hair because she did not read the instructions properly. Naughty girl. Tut tut. But that would be no problem for Mr, (in the words of Whigfield), Sexy Eyes Granger.

This was going to look good anyways but, adding the bouncy curls and the make up of the series from Alex, she was ready to Diva it up and party the night away.

Well! That’s it from me gorgeous Essex TV for this week. And remember! If there is a show you would like me to blog about, get in touch via, Twitter @LHalewood, Instagram @lhalewood or add me on my Facebook under Liam Halewood and let me know. I would be happy to voice my opinions about them.

Hugs and luvs from Liam xx