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George Kay writes: #Xfactor Sunday?? I’ll have some of that thank you please!

19 Sep George Kay writes: #Xfactor Sunday?? I’ll have some of that thank you please!

Getting to that point on a Sunday, where you’re considering having a triple vodka & bleach!😩

Hold that thought, keep the dogs on the leash.. Our nations prince of darkness is about to deliver..
Yes our very own master of misery is in every living room in the land🙌🏽
Let us bow our heads & pay homage to the greatest show on earth!🎺🎺🇬🇧
Or we can just cringe & giggle our way through an hour of entertainment of the highest order👍🏽

It’s the start of Bootcamp so who knows what twists & turns, highs & lows tonight will bring. The only thing that is guaranteed is tears.. Let’s find out what the show has to offer🎼🎤

@essextv @TheXFactor £100 to the contestant that doesn’t cry💪🏼

Cheeky gamble but I knew my money was safe, never in doubt 😂

@essextv @TheXFactor is Simon the new Harry Potter?? 😂
For a moment I thought Simon had just flown in from a casting/audition himself. Is he the new Harry Potter?? Is it just me or did anyone else think that, the only thing missing was a twig wand & a cape 😂

@essextv @TheXFactor I’d make them run further #verylazy 😩

Songs on a wall, & they made them all run 20m to choose one. Brilliant!! I’d of made them run further or put them all on roller skates. After all it is Bootcamp. #justsaying

@essextv @TheXFactor  👌🏽 great start🙌🏽

We couldn’t have asked for a better start to the show. It had it all laughs chaos & great vocals from the first 3 contestants🙌🏽

@essextv @TheXFactor squeaky bum time🙈

As always my hero Dermott O’Leary adds a bit of order and realisation that this is a competition & the contestants will have to up their game to progress through the circus stages.

@essextv @TheXFactor the dancing man on the bench is my hero 🎼🎤🙌🏽
Did I speak to soon, I’ve a new hero in the form of mr Friday night himself! seemingly off his tits dancing alone on a pub beer garden bench. Is it usual practice for the XFactor to grab stragglers from the V festival still trying to find their way home & fling them into Bootcamp 😂

@essextv @TheXFactor Honey G 🙌🏽 legend

This girl is the business “when I say Honey”.. “You say???” I’m presuming anybody that was listen was supposed to respond with “G”.. Great enthusiasm & glorious energy👍🏽

@essextv @TheXFactor Tart with the heart it’s a no!!😩

Lord hear my prayers! Jumona or whatever she likes to known as is no longer. The tart with a heart will be back down the local social club spreading the love or dare I say legs this weekend 😩

@essextv @TheXFactor the scousers nailed it🎼🎤

Now for some serious talent. The scousers🙌🏽. Tom & Laura again nailed it vocally. Love these two & so do the judges.

@essextv @TheXFactor Matt is the winner 🏆

Matt bored us with a little chat about how he has to up his game. Stop this & just smile & sing. The girls love you, the judges love you, I love you! Still my tip to win the competition

@essextv @TheXFactor wonder what the judges do during the adverts? 🚬☕️🍪

Ever wondered what the judges do during the adverts? My guess is they kick back with a lambert&buttler slurp coffee & eat non-fat biscuits that the rest of society has never heard of!

@essextv @TheXFactor Louis sent someone home?? First time for everything 😂

Following a touch of personal banter with the XFactor. My ears felt deceived. Did Louis actually say an act was no good & had no place in the competition?? My guess is he was the joker who put them through in the first place😂

@essextv @TheXFactor Gifty.. The gift that keeps giving! But your mate was better🙊 ❤️

Ahh Gifty.. The gift that keeps giving! You are good but my vote goes to your pal who sounds like shola ama & doesn’t brush her hair👍🏽

@essextv @TheXFactor imagine being 18 & Nicole saying I’ll see you tomorrow 😊
After Simon admitting he was wrong, we then got to see a group of young lads faces go red as the gorgeous Nicole tells them “I’ll see you tomorrow”.  Hmm I bet you will 😂

@essextv @TheXFactor Sasha’s group come collect your winners trophies 🏆

How good was this group? We bow our heads in awe. If Matt doesn’t win the best vocals came from this group of hopefuls

@essextv @TheXFactor Bring on the tears & misery!! Far too happy for the XFactor 😢

Time for tears & misery, let’s be honest. This is the only reason we watch the show

@essextv @TheXFactor scarlet need to breathe yo!

Right on que Scarlet inject some misery to their group. They don’t want to rehearse with the other minions “they need to breathe yo!” Joking aside great vocals..

@essextv @TheXFactor don’t dare take the greatest song ever written.. & try your best! How dare you!!

But wait! Simon has a miny skitz! How dare you take a great song & try your best??? Really? Does this deserve spending eternity in the hot place down stairs? Give them a break satan 😩

@essextv @TheXFactor Melissa drop the tears girl.. “Im in love with you”.. Brilliant 👌🏽
Melissa didn’t fool me with the tears & fake nerves. Drop the act you were brilliant 👍🏽

@essextv @TheXFactor Faye Horne ❤️🎼🎤

Faye Great vocals you deserve your place

@essextv @TheXFactor ivy Louis loves you👉🏽
We spoke about the see through attire last week, just stop! I don’t rate you as much as the judges do.

@essextv @TheXFactor James is this the worst case of sh*t baggery we’ve seen all year?

😂 James trying to do a swerve but the girls caught you. Poor effort son up your game for when you try out for the voice!

@essextv @TheXFactor Simon feels complete in the knowledge you pooed your pants😏

And so he should that was pathetic!

@essextv @TheXFactor Sam did you just make this amazing? A true love story I’m in tears.. I love the XFACTOR

Que Sam, sings lovingly to James & drags an amazingly emotional performance out of him, to save the day. This is what the XFactor is all about❤️ (it’s about singing really, so turn it in drama queens 😂)

The rest of the show was usual procedure of trying to trick people into thinking it’s the end of the line for them.

@essextv @TheXFactor the boys seem happy with their mentor😂😂
When they say meet your mentor they don’t mean have a mass game of piley on😂😂 I hope Nicole is ok🙏🏾

That’s my pick of Sunday’s hopefuls. But the best part of the show came right before the credits. The master of misery openly admitted he likes nuts! pause, rewind & play.. Yes it’s official Simon likes nuts🙈. Take that how you will, but you all know the way I’m taking it😂😂

I’ve been George Kay & until we meet again don’t believe what you read & don’t take life too seriously, nobody’s ever survived it!